Announcing “Hey, Mom!” Series
Edited by Marissa Glover
Editor’s Note: Melissa Fenton (creator of 4 Boys Mother) has written countless articles for a very diverse audience of moms. Some of those articles have been published on the website Grown and Flown, where topics cater to parents whose children have grown up and left home. Melissa knows what this feels like, and many of her readers do too. But what are the grown-and-flown children feeling? What’s leaving home been like for them?
Each day this week, we will post an article written by a current college student. These students were recently asked, “If you could tell your mom anything at all, what would you want her to know about you or your life?” These articles are their answers and offer moms a different perspective–a chance to see the world through your college-aged child’s eyes.
Mom, I Am Not My Sister
Written by Anonymous, 20, Junior
I love my sister dearly, but I AM NOT HER.
I know that my sister has been successful throughout her entire life. Just because I’m not following her exact path does not mean that I won’t be successful too. I may not be entirely sure what I want to do after graduation, but I can only hope that you will support me in whatever I choose. I may not be majoring in biology with the desire to be a doctor like my sister, but working with animals is my passion, and I would like support for doing so; even if it doesn’t work out, I promise I will be fine. Doing an internship to gain experience in an area I love isn’t going to screw up my life forever. I am never going to be a star in the military like my sister, but I will be successful in my own way one day.
I know it may seem odd that I’m in college and don’t have a big group of friends or go out all of the time like my sister did, but I am doing just fine. In fact, I actually really enjoy my quiet life at college; I didn’t have to become an RA or throw myself into a bunch of activities like my sister to find my niche. Our personalities are very different—and so are our college lives, so please stop comparing them. Moving away from home to go to school was a huge step for me, and it was something that my sister never did, so any comparisons between us should have ended three years ago.
Even though it’s never been said directly that I should be more like my sister, I know that it is always implied. I know that you just want what’s best for me—and my sister’s success is definitely something to aim for, but I am the only one that can determine what my future will be and how to get there. I am extremely proud of my sister and everything that she has accomplished (just like you are). My sister is one of my biggest role models, but that doesn’t mean I want to be exactly like her.
I have worked really hard to get where I am today, and I currently work really hard in school. I just wish it didn’t always go unnoticed; I wish my accomplishments were acknowledged as often as my sister’s.